When I have problems or reflect on past ones, I’m always quick to blame others. I’m starting to accept accountability for my part in conflicts but sometimes it takes a little (read: a lot of) extra work to get there.
Like, sure, my eighth grade bio teacher told me I had “an attitude problem” but I 100% gave him attitude to elicit that response.
When it comes to deeper rooted traumas and situations where I’ve been truly wronged, I may not be to blame for what happened but I can take responsibility for how I move now. Some parts of my past hurt me a lot when they happened and still sting a bit today, but I’ve carried around unnecessary negativity for years, I don’t want to do it anymore.
There are some people, some situations that sucked and they’ve shaped who I am today, for worse or better. But by holding onto that animosity I’m not punishing the people who’ve hurt me, I’m only punishing myself.
Blaming other people for my problems/mood/stress/etc. only holds me back. Accepting accountability (or blame) means I can impartially understand my role in problems and start making choices and actions to be better.