‘Okay, not everyone wants to hear about your positiveness.’

In today’s episode, Jacklyn ponders the power of positive thought with @Poslifee. Follow along as they talk about the power of thought and the importance of discipline in pursuing our daily and long-term goals. 

Transcript:

Jacklyn – Welcome to another episode of All Who Podcast, I’m Jacklyn and today we’re pondering the power of positive thinking. I have never considered myself to be a positive person or the type of person who tries to see the good in things. But I’ve come to kind of realize that positive thinking is really important in the process of self-improvement and just kind of trying to find peace in like my life and in, or with the people around me. And this has been growing in popularity with concepts like mindfulness and meditation and manifesting and like Law of Attraction trending on, I mean I don’t have TikTok but, I know it’s on TikTok. So yeah, today we’re pondering the ways that leveraging the power of the mind, and positive thinking in general, can genuinely help us better our everyday lives.

And I’m joined today by my second guest ever, who is possibly the most, like the most positive person I know. You may know him as Poslifee. I know him as ‘B.’ Zachery Mazzochetti welcome to All Who Podcast. How are you?

Zach – I’m good, I’m good thank you.

J – So I think, this is gonna make you so anxious, like this is probably going to be the first time a lot of people hear you talk ever. How does that feel?

Z – Nervous.

J – But good?

Z – Yeah.

J – Okay

Z – I need to elaborate for sure. That’s why people have those conceptions, I feel, because I’m definitely someone that stays in my mind, stays in my head.

J – For sure, we talked about that earlier. You don’t even like to journal because you got that shit done, it’s done already.

Z – We did talk about journaling.

J – Well let’s start kind of with Law of Attraction. I think that’s something that a lot of people have heard of or are like starting to hear about. What is the Law of Attraction to you, and when did you first come across it?

Z – Okay, Law of Attraction to me has definitely changed over the years since I first started, or since I first heard about it. So let’s start there. I first was introduced to Law of Attraction through a very commercialized and like consumer product, The Secret, right. Started off a book, and then went towards like a DVD type like visual movie, if you will.

J – A movie if you will.

Z – But yeah, I was probably like, I don’t know, eight, nine years oldish. I’m just throwing a number out there you know. And my mom, like, super into like spirituality or stuff like that, right, that type of person. She fell into it, like self-help just loves self-help. She like just got it and like, I don’t know. I don’t know if she like directly showed me, or I’m just like around at the time but that’s how I was first introduced to it. And like it didn’t really click, right, I’m so young. I don’t know. You don’t really conceptualize things as much as you would if you’re more like older and mature. But, um, I remember vividly the visualization it brought to it, right? Like they wanted you to visualize stuff. And imagine you have something before it’s here. So I had like a PSP before I had a cell phone or anything, and I used to turn it to the side and pretend it was like an iPhone. But then like that drifted I feel. But I did have one significant thing with it when I was younger.

J – What was that? How young –– how young. How old?

Z – It’s so like, you know my memory, it kind of after a while get so mushed together I feel. And I just remember very vague concepts of the past.

J – But older than eight or nine.

Z – Yeah because it’s kind of set, I feel like that moment happened and I was already at my dad’s so it already, a lot of stuff has changed so I forgot about it.

J – But a period of time later.

Z – Yeah after that first –– but I did get an iPhone. I did end up getting an iPhone, but I was spoiled so that, you know.

J – Did you manifest it or was it just bound to happen?

Z – Was me conning my way to an iPhone by manipulating my own grandmother. But I’m just super young and I know they’ll give me anything. But that’s, again, what I think when I said my perception of what Law of Attraction is changed over the years and I think it goes to that like, did I maybe manipulate hair with my smile to give me an iPhone, maybe.

J – Manipulate her with my smile.

Z – That’s all you can do as a young dude.

J – But anyway.

Z – But kind of like putting a path that you want to achieve, right. And a path is just a road that you take steps towards. So like, did I put myself in a situation to receive that iPhone? Sure, maybe, right. It’s all kind of your judgment. But when I moved out with my dad. And this is probably all over the place.

J – It’s okay.

Z – I moved out with my dad. I was reintroduced to The Secret through Netflix. I was just browsing Netflix and The Secret was right there. It was like, I was probably –– let’s put an age. Like at my dad’s so probably 14. 14, 15, freshman year for sure. I watched the whole thing. And I was like ‘Yeah, I remember this,’ right. Like, you know, and at this time I’m not as what people that are close to me… I’m not that type of person. Like right now, the people that are close to me [know] I’m very confident and very like, anything I do will have exact reason why I’m doing it. I’m very precise and I think things through. I’m methodical and stuff like that. But that time I’m definitely not. I’m way more ––

J – Well you’re 14, 15.

Z – Yeah, but I’m also I haven’t lost the weight yet, there’s a lot…

J – A lot of moving parts.

Z – Yeah, so I’m always an introvert, but very introverted at that time. I used to cry when I’d have to go summer camp, like I just didn’t want to interact with people. But so I watched the Netflix video and in the video they tell you to do like an at-home test or whatever you want to say, right like at-home exercise, that’s a better way to say it. And they tell you to like think about someone that you had in the past, like a very strong friendship or relationship, whatever it was. And you haven’t talked in over like six months to a year, a long period of time and just try to remember the times you had. But within that thought, have it like a sense of them recontacting or getting back in touch, within those themes, right. And I did that, and I kind of just fell asleep doing it. And I woke up to like a text message from that person. And like, it was like a random ass time –– can I swear?

J – Yeah.

Z – Random ass time like four in the morning or something. And I followed up in the morning, obviously right before school, saying like ‘Yo, like why did you text me? Why did you reach back out?’

J – Now how long had it been since you had like been in contact with this person?

Z – That was at my grandma’s house when I, because I never, the funny part about this is like, you know my introverted, I never met that person in real life. I felt like I was like someone I found on social media or something. And like we just had a good time talking.

J – Internet friends.

Z – That’s really it, Yeah, internet friends.

J – Before internet friends were like real.

Z – Yeah. And I was at my grandma’s house and I just haven’t talked to that person since I’m at my dad, a lot has changed since then. So I would say maybe a year or two, minimum a year probably more though.

J – So why did they reach out to you?

Z – Again, yeah. I asked them and they’re just like, ‘You popped in my head.’ And that was like, I don’t know, it was at that time I feel I’m gonna under-credit it but it was, it was crazy. It was a crazy experience, right. And like, it felt like I have so much control. And that was a big theme and it’s a theme that I feel like again, the idea of what Law of Attraction is going to change and it’s going to be more broader into like that type of idea of just control over like your life. Like, yeah, it really changed my life that one little instance and it’s super sci-fi. And that’s why my whole perception of Law of Attraction has changed over time.

It’s not about sci-fi, measuring thoughts and the energies of it. Because that’s what this consumer product. The Secret, it talks about, what they would say, like your thought is like a measurable amount of energy. Every time you have a thought, it outputs a certain amount of energy that’s measurable. And that’s true. Right. But they bank off the idea of like homeostasis this idea of everything in the universe needs to be balanced and equal. And that thought just is a piece of energy that needs to be balanced, or whatever, like reconciled with the other piece of that. And that’s what they say, meditation and manifestation with that measurable energy and the universe reacts to it manifesting that other piece into reality. And like at that time it happened kind of. But it’s super sci-fi and it’s really deterred me from that to be honest. Because like I said I’m super logical, think things through. But I had that experience which was a big thing.

Let me just stop right there because I’ve been talking a lot. Any questions?

J – Of course I have plenty of questions.

Z – Let me may answer one thing to what it is to me now. Full circle back to it. What Law of Attraction is to me now is way more about what I said about control. It has the way more to do with habits. Right, with positivity people sometimes think it’s ignoring the negative. But in my perception of positivity, it’s perceiving a negative and what you take out of it as making sure it’s positive. It’s not, someone that’s positive to me doesn’t ignore negativity. [That person] absorbs it, understands it, and criticizes it, and takes something out of it that is positive, right. If it’s learning, if it’s something you know not to do in the future. And that’s a habit to me because it’s activity you doing it. So it’s, again, basically like the control. Because people give a lot of credit to other outside sources, and they take a little bit of credit away from themselves with the control they have on their life. Right, and that kind of has to do with like I lost weight early so that showed like at a young age you can really, with dedication and habits and the willingness to think that you’re going to have something without having it. And that’s, that’s what The Secret was really trying to show you with the sci-fi type measurable your thoughts and all that stuff. But it’s important practice and like, there’s a book that a YouTuber that I watch, Biaheza, and he said this book was about like interviewing the 1000 most rich people across America. And the common trait was a that they understood something that they wanted it and they believed it currently without having it in the physical reality. And they live their life and they walk the walk as if they had it. And I think that’s an important mindset. Just that belief is something that’s obtainable but not currently real.

J – In my brief research of Law of Attraction, I think a lot of people have come to understand it as something that works on its own. Like you said. Or they give more credit to like the universe a to Law of Attraction. So if, do you believe that if you believe in this ideology, that means that you don’t have to put in the work? Like, do you think that things are just like of course you were bound to fall upon Law of Attraction and then you were bound to do this and this was bound to happen. Do you think that it’s something where it’s very hands-off and you can just let the universe do the work or do you think that when you do want something to happen or just with your life in general, do you think it’s something that you have to actively be pursuing an putting in the work to form those habits like you talked about?

Z – Absolutely. Because that’s why over the years I’ve really distanced myself with that consumer product, The Secret, of how they really just try to make money off this idea. Because they do put a lot a lot of power in the universe, right. And I always have this analogy, you can’t win the lottery without playing. And that’s what The Secret kind of puts and paints that picture where if you sit on the couch and you really believe and think about it, it will happen. But again you got to play the lottery to win the lottery and I take that philosophy with The Secret. Where it’s like if I want to reach x, y, and z, I as the person also needs to dedicate my mind space to it but I need to dedicate my physical space to it. That means like decisions, and the people you surround yourself with, and stuff like that. Because you need to be able to be in the exact position to receive that, if you want to throw the universe into. Yes, I believe the universe could give you stuff in return but you have to be willingly there to receive it based on like the decisions you make and the actions that you do.

You can’t win the lottery without playing, and I take that as a simple metaphor. You have to think about it but you also got to be about it, right. You can’t just sit on your couch, and sit just expect something to, you know, change when you’re not putting any effort in, you know. Because that’s also, you know, something that The Secret does point on that, that measurable energy that when you make a thought, it’s a stronger energy when there’s emotion behind it. And that’s, I believe it because passion drives way more further than you know any type of urge or anything like that. So like, it’s all about dedication. And then I feel like that’s just a way better outlook than believing in the universe, because you kind of put more, again, power in yourself. And if you don’t give up you technically will never fail. Because the moment you fail is the moment you stop.

J – Right. Do you think there’s like a distinct difference between Law of Attraction and positive thinking? Or like, do you think they’re connected or related in any way? Or have you kind of come to a place where they’re just like Law of Attraction is something that has brought you to this mindset, but now you’re kind of more focused on positivity and working toward that?

Z – That’s a good question. It is! Because when I first was introduced, in high school, the second time I took it way more serious and I had that little moment. It made me super, super worried what is going through my head.

J – What do you mean?

Z – Like the thoughts I would have. Not like worried in a scared way, but it made me put up a wall of filtration, right.

J – Because you don’t want the negative things to happen.

Z – Exactly and it’s, I want to focus on the positive outcome, the one that I want. So I used to work at Wegmans, and I used to work helping hands and it would be hours in that parking lot just pushing carts. And I would do these little thing like just sentences or wants in my mind and if I would ever have like a contradicting one or like a doubtful one, I would repeat the word no, ‘No, no.’ Just so like I’m not, in my narrative like in the little consciousness in your mind and that little dude… or woman in your head. I just didn’t want any type of that type of thought,

J – In therapy speak those are called affirmations.

Z – I just, I was very, very careful of what went on in my head. And I think it teaches you fundamental lessons though. Like if that’s all you want to take from it, that’s great. That’s like amazing because again, it teaches you about discipline but not even putting yourself out there and doing it. But like mentally. I feel like I have, a very good mental. I don’t know how to say it, but.

J – You’re very level-headed in a way that isn’t affected by emotions, like equanimity and things like that.

Z – And my dad has a big part of that, too. But it made me even more realize like, thinking things through and understanding exactly what I want out of it. And where do I position myself to get that? And just thinking everything through so I have the easiest path to get there.

J – So next question was, how much of this is about just changing your mindset, setting goals, getting motivated, being mentally disciplined? How influential do you think it is to just believe in the power of your own thoughts?

Z – Yeah. That’s basically it. Because there’s so many like, Joe Rogan’s criticized it so many times because it’s very sci-fi this idea of Law of Attraction. And it’s like these you know, infomercial stuff where a lot of self-help tries to remove the hardness of it. And that’s what I think Law of Attraction kind of does. It’s kind of like the fat burner pill but for mental.

J – Well this is something that I didn’t really want to touch too much on because I feel like it kind of strays from the topic but do you think that there are, like. With anything people are going to take it to the extremes, it’s just what some people do. But do you think that there’s a lot of that with Law of Attraction and manifesting where like, people are like ‘Oh you have to have on this frequency of music and you have to charge all of your crystals under the –– Do you think it’s possible to take Law of Attraction or the power of positivity or whatever you want to think of it as, and make it into something that it isn’t?

Z – Yeah. That’s where I think over the years again I’ve been distancing myself from The Secret because I see the flaws. And I see that rabbit holes it can really lead you. Just like you said crystals and energies like, that’s, again, taking away the power of you. You’re putting so much more weight into these things, where the weight’s more inwards. You have way more control in the outcome than people really hold true to. And if that’s the universe if it’s the energies and stuff like that. You’re in the equation way more than you know. And that’s where I’m just, not scared, but that’s why I’ve distanced. It shows a glimpse of great characteristics and habit, but then the jumbles it all together into like, kind of like, I don’t know, some type of organizational religious cult-type group thing where if you’re not following everything, you’re not in. You’re not doing it right.

J – Well and that was literally what I was going to ask you next. Do you think people pursue this without knowing it? Even not taking it too far but in like religious situations or with self-fulfilling prophecies. Do you think that believing in your thoughts and believing in Law of Attraction or believing in religion, do you think that it’s just about believing that good things are going to happen? How much of it do you think is just related to having faith in something?

Z – Yeah. When you break it down to the core principles it’s everywhere. Religion is highly –– I went to Catholic school for way more than my public school. I want to preface this, I went to Catholic school from like kindergarten to eighth grade. Just prefacing. But yeah I feel like religion gives that type of same habit training, if you will. But it’s not because, it’s just not because they said, ugh –– I don’t want to like mess it up. Religion is a tough topic. But I just feel like it doesn’t put the power within. It’s externally powered. And I just get nervous when the power is not in you. And growing up with religion that’s what I didn’t like. It’s just, nothing’s on me, or even really my decisions. Because there’s always an outcome that I could fix it with I guess. But it’s also an approval to someone. And it just took away my type of like individualistic-ness if that’s even a thing.

J – And in general, what do you think, or what is manifestation to you and what do you think about manifestation?

Z – Manifestation to me, is what we talked about and believing in something that’s not here yet. But actively working toward it. Because you manifest with your thoughts but I feel like you have to manifest your actions, too. And it’s not just a one or the other, it’s both. And, I also want to be open to other paths on your path. Because people get so worked up on the ABCD to get to the ––

J – Tunnel vision.

Z – Yeah, and they something else could pop up, and they made deter or whatever, they might say no to it because they’re so committed to this one path. And they don’t even know that this path could be the universe showing you, or trying to give you what you’re trying to manifest. And they they’re just, so, like you said, they will just have tunnel vision on this one thing and this one goal, and they miss out on a lot more. So like having an idea of what you want, but I tend to love general ideas. Like you see my vision board in the kitchen –– it says more money less weight. I just don’t lean towards specific long term goals because again I just feel like life’s crazy, tomorrow you could be a fisherman and you might love it. Just don’t say no to things that you don’t know yet, because it could be that answer to get what you want, you just really don’t know yet. You know the miner that turns around and he’s like this little image, the dude in a tunnel mining, and he turns around and he’s like two inches from gold. You just don’t know. I feel like every door open is a door that’s open.

J – That’s gonna be like, I’m gonna pull that for the intro.

Z – It might not be the door you want to go in now but I feel like it opened because of your actions that you’re doing. And that’s what’s important, that you’re doing these actions because you’re trying to manifest something. And if something came into the equation that you didn’t even know about or planned, that’s important. You know you should at least do your due diligence and find out. Because if that, it might help you, it might get you somewhere you don’t even know you wanted to be, or even further than your current goal. You just, you might not know because you’re so fixated on ‘I need to do this, and then I need to do this and I’m going to do this.’ Manifestation requires dedication but openness. There’s not just one size fits all.

J – And you talked about your vision board. Do you want to get into sympathetic magic?

Z – Sympathetic magic. Yes, newly loved term that I learned recently.

J – Tell us about it.

Z – Sympathetic magic. I learned it from an amazing an AMAZING creator. Everyone should check him out, and do their due diligence and absorb useful content. I tell everyone to absorb useful and just every avenue of the internet type content. You can formulate new connections in your mind, gets you thinking about things you never even knew about. But Van Neistat, Casey Neistat‘s brother. He does amazing work. But he brought up a concept called sympathetic magic and that’s literally the same idea as The Secret but it’s not a commercialized term. It’s like a studied term throughout history, that like ––

J – Do you want Merriam-Webster’s definition?

Z – Sure, yeah, read it out.

J – Magic based on the assumption that a person or thing can be supernaturally affected through its name or an object representing it.

Z – Right and these ideas have been studied throughout time through rituals. These ideas that tribes and communities have done throughout history. And it’s this idea of a ritualistic behavior or physical representation through symbolism and building even mini type of that item or destiny or whatever you want to say. Creating a physical representation for that visualization and for that, ‘I have this now feeling’ without having a for that manifestation idea. And it’s been going on for centuries, and you think of literally anything, most of the time it’s belief, like what you said, faith. Faith is super important. But what do you have faith in? That’s the important question. Is it more on you, or is it something else? And it’s not bad faith and something else. I like religion for the idea of hope, because I feel like the world needs hope. There’s not a lot of hope in this world. But religion does good with that, too. But you know I want people to recognize they also have that power within them, too. It’s not always these external forces.

J – Well and with sympathetic magic you kind of spoke on it as, and with vision boards, as like part of the manifesting process. So, I was just kind of wondering if you think that sympathetic magic, or making these representations of what you want, do you think that that’s part of manifesting, or do you think that that’s just people’s need to have something that they can displace their faith on to? Like you’ve said, or not said but implied about like religion or with like other things like that.

Z – To me, I feel like it just, it works better on the visual spectrum. To me, because when it’s such a mindfulness topic it couldn’t be harder when it’s only visually in your mind and consciousness. When you bring that visualness to reality, I feel like it just creates a better bridge for physical and your mind, where I can touch it, hold it, feel it. And now I can have an easier time believing in it. So I feel like it’s a mix of both maybe. To me at least, it just helps because I’m a very visual person. And if I can see it, to me, I know that it’s real. I just don’t have it yet. Big Sean has a lyric in one of his songs where he says like, something along those lines where it’s, I know it’s real and it’s in this Earth I just don’t have it yet. So it’s not impossible, right. Think of anything like a billion dollars –– that’s real, so it’s not impossible for you to think you can have can’t have it.

J – So let’s bring this back to you, how do you implement this into your own life, whether it’s with your long term goals or like your daily habits?

Z – Yeah, so it’s definitely not a conscious thing anymore as much as it’s been in the past. Like I’ve done those things where you write the same sentence like 1,000 times on a piece of paper. I’ve done waking up, looking at my vision board first thing in the morning, and understanding why I want these things, how can I get these things, and what I’m going to do to put myself in a better position to get these things. Like I said I was at helping hands and had a lot of free time in my mind, just to myself and think. I used to do security all the time. I’d just sit at a desk for hours and I had a lot of free time. So I did those things for a long time. And I had amazing results, I don’t want to say results but I definitely have fulfilled a lot of things that I wanted to do. I’m a person that I’ve said like, if I put my mind to it, like, I’m definitely gonna get close.

J – I haven’t done everything…

Z – Because like it’s that openness right? And the universe is funny, you know? Like there’s some goals that I have done, and it comes with an extra like, ‘Oh, I didn’t know I was gonna do it like that.’

J – Do you have any specific examples that you would be interested in sharing? Of, ‘Oh I didn’t know it was gonna happen like that.’

Z – Income I guess is the only one thing I could think of.

J – What do you mean?

Z – Like I wanted to make over $100,000 and I did 100% But like, how much I have to pay and like, technically what was, whatever.

J – $100,000 isn’t just $100,000.

Z – Right. What was the original question?

J – How do you implement this into your life?

Z – Oh yeah, I did those the due diligence things. The one that’s kind of like rewiring your brain to have that filtration system. Nowadays it’s, it’s definitely way more like I don’t think about it because I just, it’s kind of how I am now. And it’s why people hate me sometimes, to be honest. Because I try to think of every perspective. Every perspective on any type of situation. And that might come with pressing people and asking why people have this opinion, why people do what they do. Try to understand… but that’s I think a little bit different. More introverted, or introspective. Everything, based on content, I said I want people to consume content, and I feel like that’s something that I really do. The content I consume is probably 30% of random stuff, but 70% is within the niche or industry that I’m trying to pursue or become amazing and great in. Right before this we watched the freakin 37-minute thing that Foundr Magazine did on this business that it was a cleaning business and scaled to 60k a month. You know like that type of content I’m surrounding myself with every day. I work with Jason, Jason from Syracuse.

J – Jason from Syracuse.

Z – He’s my business partner in the E-commerce world, but like, our relationship is strictly that.

J – Strictly business.

Z – Like we don’t talk about, he might want to go a little bit further but I just talk busi–– that’s just all I really feel like I want to talk about. That’s all I ever really want to talk about. And I have a weird, I got a bad trait of being too serious. And that’s because I’m careful of what’s around me and what I consume, and the way I think and how I perceive an outcome or how I perceive a situation. We’re talking about outcomes, I feel like we shouldn’t attach ourself to the outcome, also.

J – Do you want to me a little more specific?

Z – Right, it’s kind of that tunnel vision. If you’re so attached to the outcome you may not get the chance to realize that’s not the one you truly want. It might be the one you want now. I’m not saying that, you might totally want that. But people change, people mature, people want, like I know my wants have. When I was 18 all I wanted was money, money, and $1, and now two, and I need three now. It was strictly a dollar amount. But now it’s way more like, sure I want to be financially stable and even have excess. But it’s not because I just want to see a million dollars in my bank, it’s because I understand the freedom money gives and that’s all I want. I want to be free. I want to wake up, if I want to do something I could just immediately do it. If I don’t want to do something, you know, put up the deuces. I don’t need to do it. Freedom is important to me. And that’s why I want to have a very well-off career because financial stability comes with freedom or freedom comes with financial, whatever.

J – Any other thoughts before I move on to the next question?

Z – I’m trying to think of how I like do it. Because again I don’t do it so actively anymore but I think it’s important, of what you consume first. If you’re a person who’s on social media 80% of the day, like, I used to run an Instagram business totally just social media driven. And I never use Social, I’m not. Like if I didn’t have it, like I would barely use it at all. I’m not a big social media person. Not because I don’t love it or use it as the tool it is, but I just think there’s a lot of, you know when you turn on a TV and there’s nothing, just the whitespace, like that noise? There’s a lot of noise on social media. And like, that’s just wasted mind energy. I just don’t want to waste my mind energy.

J – Is it frustrating for you when you can see how someone’s mindset is holding them back but they can’t see it for themselves?

Z – Yeah, that’s something I have trouble with. Learning is at like 14, 15, like buying in immediately, it’s something that I’ve struggled with and needed to [be] like ‘Okay, not everyone wants to hear about your positiveness.’

J – I feel like that I just entered your body and I said those words.

Z – Because like again, people will just think like you’re ignoring negativity. And if you don’t have the perfect communication skills or the way to translate it in a palatable way for their mind to understand, you’re just going to be missing things. And if they want to actively help themselves is important. People, you know, feel bad for themselves and they think it shouldn’t be this way because of these external forces, and they put it all outwards and never inwards. And like you just can’t. Or I can’t because I, you know, I’m not per se as patient a person as other people. I just can’t help you. It’s not even my job to help you. But I shouldn’t waste my time, and I shouldn’t waste your time. It’s not going to work. So I’ve definitely had those conversations where it’s been horrible, but I’ve learned that you know sometimes just shut your mouth, bro. Your opinion helps you. And it’s helped me get to where I am. And if people want, like this. You’ve asked, you feel safe to do it. So, definitely learned over the years not to push people with that. It’s on them. It’s ultimately on you. At the end of day, everything is on you.

J – Do you have any recommendations for people who are trying to change their thinking, or who are kind of curious about things like this but don’t know where to start?

Z – I would start with questioning yourself. You ever find your situation just, ‘Why am I here?’ And if you don’t have an answer that correlates with where you want to be, I feel like it’s a thought experiment. So I would start with constantly questioning yourself. Anything to do. Why am I getting coffee? Am I wasting this $5? Will it help me save up for that car, or is it only because I want to taste of coffee? You know those questions are important, and having a reason behind those decisions I think is also important. Because again, you got to play the lottery to win the lottery. And if you’re not playing, like if you’re not saving up for that car, you’re never going to get that car. But if you’re buying the coffee… like those are just.

J – What about for people who are trying to learn how to quiet the negative thoughts so that they can focus more on the positive?

Z – Yeah, that’s a hard one, I feel it’s a time thing.

J – How did you start?

Z – I don’t know. Those are the things you can’t say you’re born, because I was never like, ‘Oh, I’m a happy guy.’ I was super, he’s the kid in the corner, you don’t even know his name probably. I just very very introverted as a kid. But I was I was like 300 pounds at like nine years old, you know. I went to a Catholic school and the one thing I liked about it was wearing uniforms so I would fit in a little bit and just less things I had to think about at that time. So like I feel like maybe because of all the adversity I had a kid, I just kind of like, you know, took my outsider-ness as like, ‘I like myself, so like, I’m okay.’

J – How important do you think that is? Being able to separate your thoughts and your wants from other people’s perspectives?

Z – It’s a lot to do with how much weight you put on those people. You don’t owe anyone anything and they don’t owe you anything so you shouldn’t be looking for approval outwardly. If you like what you’re doing and you’re fulfilled, at the end of the day that’s really al that matters. But comparison is the thief of joy, that type of idea. It’s a hard answer because it’s a lot of mind stuff. Like I’m not a therapist. And I didn’t actively have –– except that one thing where I was like, ‘I’m gonna buy in now’ with that person reaching out. I didn’t have like a, ‘Oh I get it now.’ It was really me buying in and then from that day I’m living my life in this way. There wasn’t really a moment or a time where I was like ‘Oh I know how to really just look at all perspectives and choose the one I want to feel.’

J – It’s work

Z – Yeah it’s time. And again it’s that inner head filter. Something bad happened it’s not ignoring it, it’s realizing it, accepting it, and understanding that you at that moment have a chance to continue this hardship or leave it there and end it and then move on. Because carrying that negativity is continuing on that event or situation. And I had a lot of weird stuff in my childhood that happened. But I feel like me learning that I can deal with the situation because it happened, but also let it, not die but end in that moment because that’s how time works. Three seconds from now it’s further away, it’s further away from that event. So at the end of the day I decide what I take from it and I just didn’t want to continue it anymore. So I just left it there and decided to take what I want from it.

I think it has a lot to do with so many things. I had a lot of hardships and hardships create growth. And diversity creates growth. It’s just, there’s not an answer. I’m gonna be honest. It’s definitely individual and do you want to change at all? And do you have an ego where you’re not going to allow yourself to do that stupid stuff? Like just repeat the word ‘no.’ Or I don’t know, care what people think about you, stuff like that.

J – For sure. Do you have anything else you want to, any other wisdom you would like to impart before we go?

Z – Just have patience with everything. Because that’s what this has taught me. You never fail if you don’t stop trying. I feel like patience and nothing’s going to change now but marginal growth over time is exponential. That’s something that I take. If you did one thing today to get you closer to your goal, you know you did that.

J – You’re closer to your goal.

Z – Yeah, right. And you can look back and say ‘I did one thing’ it’s just those small wins, the small steps, and have the focus and try to sprinkle in a little discipline you know. But it’s never going to be overnight so patience. Patience with good intent.

J – Well thank you for joining me today. And we will meet again in next month’s episode of All Who Podcast. Today I will leave you with love and positivity.

Byeee!

Featured image by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash